Lent Begins: Catholics Already Lament the Loss of Chocolate and Cheer

The Annual 40-Day Sadness Spiral after finally forgetting our New Years Resolutions | By HaloZest News Service

With ashes barely smudged onto foreheads and the echoes of “Remember you are dust” still ringing in the air, Catholics around the world are already feeling the weight of Lent.

The season of penance, prayer, and fasting has begun, and for many, the reality has set in: they now have to give up nice things mere weeks after abandoning their New Year’s resolutions.

“We barely made it through January’s failed New Year’s resolutions, and now we’ve voluntarily signed up for another round of self-imposed suffering,” Jim Dorque, 28, trying not to scratch his forehead, and failing.

Lent—also known as 40 days of regretting life choices. The candy is gone, Netflix is on hold, and some poor souls have even committed to cold showers.

“I was just getting over the guilt of quitting my diet, and now I’ve somehow talked myself into giving up all joy again,” sighed Emily Vasquez, 30, clutching an untouched cinnamon roll. “I feel like Lent is just a second chance to fail at resolutions, but now it’s spiritual.”

“I’m only two days in, and I already regret my life choices,” said Amanda Reynolds, 32, who has given up her daily caramel macchiato. “I was going to try and do something meaningful, but somehow I panicked and just blurted out ‘coffee’ when the priest asked what I was sacrificing. I’m not sure I’m going to make it.”

Lent is traditionally a time of fasting, prayer, and almsgiving, but for many, it’s just a long, slow trudge to Easter.

“I made it three hours before I cracked and ate a handful of M&Ms,” admitted Brian O’Donnell, 27. “I feel like a spiritual disgrace, but also, why did I think giving up chocolate was the best way to get closer to Jesus?”

“I don’t know why I do this to myself,” groaned Jessica Carter, 29, staring longingly at a half-eaten Snickers bar. “I gave up sugar, and now my coworkers hate me. My Lent might end in a workplace violence charge.”

Are We Doing This All Wrong?

Some theologians argue that Lent isn’t supposed to be a competition in suffering.

“The whole ‘announce your suffering’ thing? That’s literally the opposite of what Jesus said to do,” explained Father James Callahan, pastor of St. Snarkisius.

“We’ve turned Lent into a 40-day complaint-fest,” said Father Greg O’Malley, pastor of St. Hilarius Parish in Chicago. “Jesus literally told people in Matthew 6:16-18 to stop moping about fasting. So if you’re tweeting about how miserable you are without soda, you’re missing the point.”

Catholic author Lisa Bennett agrees. “Lent isn’t a performance. You don’t earn extra heaven points for being extra miserable,” she said. “If your Lenten sacrifice is making you unbearable to be around, maybe it’s time to rethink things.”

“People treat Lent like a holy detox,” said Father Matt O’Brien of St. Basil’s Parish. “But it’s not Weight Watchers for the soul.”

The Hardliner Perspective: More Sackcloth, More Suffering

Others take a more old-school approach.

“If you’re not suffering, what are you even doing?” scoffed Gerard Whitman, 61, who proudly spends Lent sleeping on the floor and drinking lukewarm tapwater. “Lent is a time to punish the body, to deny all pleasure. Jesus suffered, and so should we.”

Bernard Huxley, 54, is a self-described “Lenten traditionalist.” “No pain, no gain. The saints slept on floors and ate nothing but bread. If you’re not experiencing mild starvation and a general sense of existential dread, are you even fasting?”

Sister Margaret Thomas, a retired nun who has lived through more Lents than she cares to count, takes a slightly less extreme but still firm stance. “Lent is a time for course correction,” she said. “Soft sacrifices lead to soft souls. I see too many people giving up things like ‘being mean on Twitter’ instead of something that actually requires discipline. Where’s the grit?”

The Alternative View: Less Drama, More Focus

Others suggest that Lent isn’t about extremes at all. Lent is less about self-punishment and more about intentional living.

“The best Lenten practice isn’t necessarily giving something up—it’s paying attention,” said Deacon Carlos Ramirez of St. Luke’s Parish. “If your life is already a chaotic mess of work, stress, and distractions, maybe Lent should be about reclaiming your focus instead of just cutting out sugar.”

“Lent isn’t about performing spiritual CrossFit. It isn’t about breaking yourself down—it’s about waking yourself up,” said Teresa Nguyen, 41, a spiritual director in California. “We don’t need to invent more suffering; we already live in a world of exhaustion, stress, and distraction. Maybe the best Lenten discipline isn’t self-denial, but paying attention.”

Psychologist and spiritual director Bishop Bob Barryn agrees. “We need to clear space for God,” he says. “A simple daily habit—prayer, service, even just intentional silence—can be far more meaningful than the usual ‘I gave up soda’ approach.”

Lent’s Not Miss the Point

If there’s one lesson to take from Lent, it’s that Easter is coming fast. And while some will spend the next 40 days dramatically lamenting their lack of sweets, others might use the time to actually prepare.

“If your Lenten practice makes you bitter, exhausted, and longing for Easter like it’s some kind of parole hearing, you’re probably missing the deeper invitation,” said O’Malley. “Lent isn’t about proving our worth through suffering. It’s about preparing for the greatest celebration of all: resurrection.”

“Lent isn’t about proving how holy you are through suffering,” said Father Callahan. “It’s about making room for God. If you don’t, Easter will fly by, and you’ll be too busy with work, stress, and obligations to even notice what just happened.”

Maybe the best thing you can do for Lent is to slow down and actually pay attention to God.

With 40 days ahead, the Lenten struggle is real. But maybe, just maybe, if we spend less time lamenting our missing desserts and more time focusing on why we’re doing this in the first place, we’ll actually arrive at Easter with something better than just the ability to eat a burger on Friday again.

And if not—well, there’s always next Lent.

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